12-step philosophy is a good one because it ensures that everyone has to “get on his or her knees” at some point in their journey.
At some point, we have to face that we don’t have nearly the control that we thought we did. At some point, we have to let go of trying to make life bend and adhere to our demands and fantasies. At some point we need to look at what (if anything) we are addicted to. And then we have to let go of our addictions.
What do I mean by addiction?
Our addictions are the things that all of us do unconsciously. The methods we use to soothe and comfort ourselves and avoid life. For some, that means mind-altering substances. For others, relationships.
Can we let go of those crutches that we’ve been clutching? Can we be fluid in our way of being in life?
Those who don’t think they have these kinds of “addictions” should ask others in their life what their thoughts are. (Here’s a hint: we’re all trying to soothe ourselves!)
It is only after we are willing to admit to our addiction that we gain some humility. That we become willing to look in the mirror and accept that we need help to change.
Only then will therapy start to work.