We’re taught from a young age that some thoughts and feelings are good and some bad. Some are acceptable, while others are not. That we shouldn’t be seeing the full you.
And in society, this is — to a large extent — quite true.
But not in therapy.
When you’re with me, I think it’s good when your anger comes out. I embrace those moments when “dark” or “unacceptable” feelings surface. In fact, part of my job is to act as an impetus for more of this energy to come forward.
Why?
Because those “bad” or “wrong” feelings tell me who you are. They tell me that you’re alive. You feel. You believe. You have real passion and pain.
This is good progress, because it means you’re providing us with the opportunity to look at the energy behind your feelings. And possibly even the place where they originally took root inside you.
Moreover, it gives us a chance to peek into your darkness, see the core of that energy, and embrace what’s there. This doesn’t mean “approving” of the darkness, but rather taking the Buddhist approach of non-judgment. Of accepting what “is” inside you and acknowledging that it is a part of your full humanity — rather than the bastardized version most people show due to familial and society expectations.
Why is this important?
Because there can be no light unless you are also able to embrace your own darkness. Love has no meaning unless you are able to honor it in the full context that it grows. And seeing the full you — finally — will make everything more meaningful.