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Why I Will Not Chase You Down

In coming to see me, people have to choose therapy. I don’t choose them — they choose me. Sometimes, however, clients will cut off their therapy unilaterally without consulting me. And I feel powerless to change the situation. Sad and stuck and impotent because I’ve been suddenly eliminated in the discussion about their life.   But…
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It’s Always One Layer at a Time — For Both of Us

Each of us has numerous layers of defended postures concealing our authentic self. The number is different for everyone. And so is how the layers present themselves, how they got there, and what they are protecting. Sometimes, when a client peels back one of those layers and discovers that there is a whole world of their…
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Come On in, the Water’s Not as Cold as You Think

You’re thinking about starting psychotherapy, but feeling a little bit scared. That’s understandable.  After all, you wouldn’t be considering therapy if you didn’t have some dark corners in your mind. Some skeletons in your closet. Some memories you don’t necessarily want to revisit. Especially with a total stranger. Especially if you fear it will expose…
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we seek

in the dark caverns we search, we seek. down to the bottom, the tributaries. the wonderment is down there, and so are creepy crawly things.  we peer under rocks to put the puzzle together.  
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Your Passenger, Your Sidekick, Your Translator

My job is to let you have enough control to feel safe. I am a passenger in the vehicle you’re driving.  You will take me to the sights and sounds and hopes and hurts and fears tumbling around inside your mind.  My job is to hear about your childhood, your marriage, your job, and all…
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Holding the Hope When You Cannot

From where does hope grow?  The twinkle in old ladies’ eyes? From blue cotton candy? From bears in the woods? From grasses watered by rains? From mountaintops and the valleys beneath them? From cracked and buckled sidewalks with elm tree roots beneath? Where do hopes live?  Are they in the air for all to breathe?…
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Always Standing with You… And Yet Apart

When I hear severe details about someone’s past, I have learned to filter the information. I do this to minimize my ideas about the severity. So that I can better connect with the client and where they are at in their current unlayering process.    Yet  I also have to maintain my own understanding or ideas…
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Listen closely and you will hear a person's song.


I want to hear their song their real song.   Because by listening I am enriched beyond life. My heart is fueled with passion with light.   I marvel at it all in front of my eyes I am blessed beyond time and space.   Chariots take me to new horizons and spaceships lift off…
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In Defense of Psychotherapy

“Cut them loose!” my sister tells me. She has just learned that I continue to see some clients for over 10 years. And she’s horrified. As if by continuing therapy I or my patients are engaging in something awful. “But,” I reply, “their lives keep getting better. They make more money, have better relationships, and…
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