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We are therapists

  we are janitors cleaning up others’ messes.   we are plumbers wading through swamps of toxicity: child abuse stories, alcoholism, violence, abandonment.   we are grave robbers picking through decay and bones to find the gold of our ancestors.   we are alchemists of humanity transforming messy lives into gold.    
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Jokes About the Value of Therapy

Learn why jokes about therapy tend to miss the point of counseling and the job of the therapist in helping people through their problems. Sometimes I feel like a used car salesman. Or like I’m walking around complaining, “I don’t get no respect.”  A friend once told me therapists remind him of divorce lawyers: always…
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Your Layers Will Be Peeled Back — One Way or Another

Many people fear therapy because they worry about what feelings and traumas they will uncover.   I completely understand these worries. And it’s true that therapy isn’t painless. You will uncover things that cause you to hurt, and be disappointed and angry and sad and raw. This is what happens when you peel back the layers…
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starting therapy

At first things get worse you see dirty dusty grungy corners that you haven’t seen for a long time and it is scary. Discomfort rushes through you and gushes everywhere. Pain overtakes you at times and it is all so confusing and unsettling. These feelings come through and you keep trying to push them down,…
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Uncovering the Framework Upon Which Everything Hangs

They tell me their story innocently, not knowing what they are exposing. Maybe their father beat their brother while they watched. Or the kids at school laughed when they didn’t have anyone to come pick them up after the party. Perhaps the mother didn’t take them to the doctor for three days — even though…
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Invisible Blood

No one can see how bloody the heart is when they come in – no one could ever predict it. they will open their jacket and all we’ll see together is the blood; gushing blood – blood they’ve been trying not to let anyone see. It’s their secret. They keep it hidden.
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Houdini Could Have Been a Therapist

How good it feels when therapy works. Earlier this week, a family session was amazing. And earlier today, a client said, “I usually don’t take in other viewpoints, but I can see this really makes sense.” How sweet when someone has been stuck in place for 60 years and now they really want to change!…
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