Cutting Through Your Defenses to Free Your Inner Life


We build fortresses, never allowing another to care about, see, remember, or know us. Connection, we’re sure, is unsafe.  

So letting the therapist be a person in our world who knows and cares about us is a difficult task. 

We come to the first session with defenses so thick, we can barely let another person look at us. 

Layers upon layers of scar tissue:

  • All the times we reached out and no one responded.  
  • All the times we cried and someone yelled at us.  
  • All the times we were having fun and someone told us it wasn’t okay.   
  • All the times we were just being who we are — a pure essence — and some important figure in our world insisted we not do that.  

Most of us learned the hard way that it wasn’t okay to be us. Burdened and ashamed of our own beauty, callings, and sensitivities.  

So we grew ashamed inside. Distortedly believing that who we were wasn’t acceptable in the world. Left with the invisible scar tissue on our soul, our insides closed up and sealed off.

Our inner life, the essence of our unique soul, became perfectly hidden in its own secret chamber. Never to be seen again, never to be unlocked.

Sometimes there are pangs inside. Sometimes there are muffled sounds that come from this room. Sometimes there are big reactions to small things — reactions that confuse us.  

Yet we forge forth, completely unaware of what lives inside us. Completely unaware of how this all became hidden and locked inside. Completely unaware that life could be more. 

In truth, more possibilities exist for us. 

Letting the therapist be a person in our world whom we trust begins the unlocking.

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