Many people fear therapy because they worry about what feelings and traumas they will uncover.
I completely understand these worries. And it’s true that therapy isn’t painless. You will uncover things that cause you to hurt, and be disappointed and angry and sad and raw.
This is what happens when you peel back the layers of protection you’ve carefully placed over the most sensitive parts of your life. When these parts of yourself first see daylight, it can be a bit of a shock. It can be a bit uncomfortable.
But here’s the thing: this will happen one way or another. If you don’t choose to peel back your layers yourself, the universe will find ways to do it for you, and she is rarely gentle.
Maybe you’ll suffer a death in the family. Or get fired. Perhaps your spouse will blindside you with a divorce request. Or your home will be destroyed in a fire.
These kinds of events have a way of ripping a bunch of layers away at once. Unfortunately, when many layers are ripped off in one big yank, it knocks you off your feet. Your shell cracks, your innards no longer held intact. Life becomes uncertain, and you feel unable to handle anything at all. Like the ground is crumbling beneath you.
Therapy Allows You to Control How Your Unlayering Proceeds
Contrast this with therapy, where your layers will be peeled back in a relatively controlled manner, one-by-one as you delve deeper into your core self with the guidance of a professional. Sometimes, the loss of a layer may be almost imperceptible.
To be clear, this is in no way trying to say that therapy is easy. Real change is difficult even if you choose it. To really reach for true authenticity means you might not know who you are at certain points in the path. It means you must bust up your self-concept and tear down every belief you have about yourself, your life, and the world.
Going all the way down to your core means looking straight into the many illusions you’ve grasped onto. In order to heal and unlayer all the way, you have to look at your fears of being disloyal to what your parents taught you. To face your fear of living without them, without their love, without the identity they gave you.
But here’s the good news: the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Until eventually this learning, growing, striving, and reaching becomes easy and natural. And you start to see who you really are.
Remember: it’s going to happen one way or another. The difference is whether you take a slow, methodical path where you retain control… or you wait until life finds a way to rip away all those protections you’ve built up.