That means your relationship. Your integrity in that relationship. And your willingness to grow in that relationship.
It is the most valuable thing you will ever participate in. It’s more valuable than any material possession, because even after fires and floods, relationships remain. More valuable than jewels, because even those can be lost or stolen or disappear.
Marriage counseling is an investment designed to protect that relationship. And it is holy work to enter the domain of marital work. Where you learn to work together to stop jabbing at your loved one. Where you learn to slowly and gently lay down the swords and shields. Where you learn to be vulnerable in the most primitive ways. Where you learn to be seen, to be loved, to be accepted, to have freedom, appreciation, and acknowledgement from another.
It is holy work where you learn to let another into your inner chamber of hurts, losses, and longings. To be loved by someone even after they know the most unlovable parts. Marital work is where you are asked to put skin in the game — to expose yourself — even if nothing will ever come back.
When it goes well, you will learn that someone is over there wanting to love you, to help you, to be kind to you. And you will achieve growth you never thought possible for yourself.
Marital discontent is a tragedy inside a home, where smart, interesting, creative people can make a mess of their lives — and take innocent children down with them. Counseling is the antidote to that. But you have to be willing to truly invest in your relationship.
And it’s absolutely worth it.
But if you don’t want this service, that’s okay. There will be someone else who does — there is always another person. And when the last person leaves, I’ll shut the lights, lock the door, and find something else to do.
Until then, I’ll keep holding hope for each and every couple that is willing to invest in their love and reap the benefits.